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The Last Real Calvinist's avatar

I was transfixed by this story when I saw it this morning, in that it parallels (at least for a while) my own experience.

I left a windswept plains state to go live in Hong Kong at around the same time Tim did his year of teaching in China, and I also got involved with a young local woman. There our stories diverge, though, as I married my HK girlfriend (she's still the current, and ever-delightful, Mrs Calvinist), and I stayed put here.

One thing that will not be apparent to many western readers in 2024, given perceptions of the PRC as being a secular moral wasteland, is how deeply conservative Chinese culture was -- and in some respects still is -- when it comes to what Tim did, i.e. sleep with his paramour but then ditch her when she counted on him to marry her. She would have taken a significant risk in carrying on with him as she did, and certainly would not have regarded their relationship as just some casual footsies-and-funsies. If her recollections of their relationship are accurate, he betrayed her deeply, and left her in the lurch, potentially facing serious consequences.

Fortunately for her, however, the late 80s-early 90s are when the PRC started opening up at warp speed. It's not clear from the article what happened to her directly after Tim dumped her, but she ended up living and working in Europe, so it's likely it was nothing too bad. But at the time, of course, she -- and Tim -- would not have known this.

It seems Tim's a multifaceted, holistic, 360-degree liar and loser.

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Paul Maupin's avatar

He's not gay?

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